SPITE MAGAZINE -Past Articles of:
Honeybud Weedwhacker

October 1997 Halloween Issue:
"I'll Piss on Your Grave a Million Times Mr. Bigshot!"
Howdy fellow Americans! Do you understand that this blink of a conservative shithole (State College,PA) is important to the demonization of cannabis hemp and sativa? "Why," you ask, " would this drunk pit pigskin corporate hickory town be of any importance in the fight for marijuana?"
I'll tell you why.
    Way back in the early 1920's, Harry J. Anslinger graduated from the very same high school from which I graduated, Hollidaysburg, PA.  Hollidaysburg is approximately one hour from State College and Pennsylvania State University is the college young buck Ansliger wished to attend, being so near to his family and well, who knows if he had any friends... After graduating from PSU, Anslinger eventually became the Commisioner of Narcotics for the United States government.
        He drew up documents he called the "Marijuana Tax Act of 1937 to present to legislative officials which declared that, "..a sex mad degenerate, named Lee Fernendez, brutally attacked a young girl...Police officers knew he was under the influence of marijuana (these were the days before urine tests,mind you). He  submitted several of these "first hand accounts" of heinous marijuana smoking criminals containing slurs of Asians, African-Americans, and Latinos. In another excerpt, Anslinger submits a letter from an upper class Sir named Floyd K. Baskette (basketcase, maybe) that stated, " I wish I could show you what a small marijuana cigarette can do to one of our degenerate Spanish-speaking residents. The greatest percentage of which are low, mentally."
        In another preposterous statement, marijuana was blamed for the subsequent mental dehabilitation of a young man who, "is now confined to a mental institutional for the mentally diseased. His experience is entirely the result of acquiring the habit of smoking marijuana cigarettes."

Must have been killer weed fer sure!

Not only is Mr. An "ass" slinger largely responsible for marijuana prohibition, he is also to blame for the fact that Dupont and Co. (you know the plastics and hazardous waste chemical company) can still continue making big bucks while polluting our environment. Du Pont was very nice to Anslinger because not only were the families oddly related through marriage, but also through big buck payoffs.
        Right under all our noses this research has been all along because PSU has the "Anslinger Files" which were left to us but the jerk himself when he keeled over. But don't bother rushing to the library because parts of the archive are occasionally missing. That only happens when something HUGE is going to happen in this town.  So get ready America, it's coming this way!!!!!

"they've got the guns, but we've got THE NUMBERS!!!"
Stay tuned to HoneyBud while she rips into more dope ass
"It's in your face, so take a hit, why dontcha?"

 February 5 Edition of Honeybud Weedwhacker:
Toke Two & Call me in the Morning:
Prof. Emeritus Julian Heicklen Smokes Out University Entrance
        Yes, there has been a lot of talk about Dr. Heicklen's act of bravery to smoke joints every week at the Pennsylvania State University Gates.  Yet, there hasn't been a concise story or behind-the-scenes look at what, according to the Daily Collegian "appeared to be marijuana," and Julian's battle for freedom and redemption January 29 at HIGH noon. The police said they were testing the joint (after they confiscated it) and reported that the joint contained no THC.   However, the toy soldiers took Dr. Heicklen's joint without so much as a warrant or a kind word. They ressed his hand down and twisted it out of his fingers, then left in a hushed and hurried panic.
        A phatter joint then appeared out of the sea of supporters and graced the lips of a freezing Prof. Emeritus sitting in a lawn chair and wrapped in a blue blanket. He proceeded to smoke the joint in its sweet smelling entirety, with several undaunted students passing along to warm their spirits on this historical day.  As a writer who believes in the good Dr.s cause, I had myself some very intense hits of this "joint" and proclaimed that this was definitely the REAL STUFF! As we toked peaceably, Julian recommmended that we not only write to the District Attorney of centre County but to the President and all the offices in between about personal views concerning the day's events and the subsequent robbery of his property by University Police Services. Dr. Heicklen's second joint was lit and relit by several more willing volunteers. He's already requested in an email to PSU president Graham Spanier that the spliff-swiper be fired for misconduct. He then asked both the District and Assistant District Attorney to prosecute in court.
        Fighter for individual freedom isn't all that new to Julian Heicklen.  In fact, his record of public interest and interaction is quite extensive. He organized sit-ins when he lived in San Francisco during the 1960's.  He was once arrested personally by the City Manager in Torrence, Ca (pop. 100,000). He and supporters of civil liberties flooded the court system and the charges were dropped because the city could not uphold the right to a speedy trail (which in California is 30 days). The system had fallen under the pressure of civil disobedience.
        In the 1970's, Dr. heicklen was the Vice-President and Secretary of the Centre County American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), a member of the National Committee of Concerned Scientists, and the PSU faculty advisor of Amnesty International. He then became interested in the condition of prison systems and founded two organizations, Pennsylvania Prison Society and Smart On Crime-a citizen's lobbying group.  In July 1997, he also founded the Centre County Libertarian Party PSU Chapter.  His scientific career is just as impressive: He has been recognized by the New YorkAcademy for Advances in Technology and Creative Advances in Environmental Science.

        When SPITE asked Julian about what exactly he came to accomplish at the Marijuana Smokeout, he replied," By them not arresting me, I am already immune. Now to get all of you immune [from prosecution]."
       ( pauses for another drag of doobie)
 "I am an advocate for FREEDOM!!"
       (Choking back tears)
"I'll be back every Thursday if that is what I have to do! What else do we do on Thursdays?!?"

         And the crowd went wild! While Julian smoked some more of his joint before passing it for a second round to willing students, someone in the crowd asked him if we was high and he airily replied, " Oh, I am just flying."
          For an hour, Dr. Heicklen answered endless questions from the press, supporters and generally curious parties.  Some of the news stations srambled in a for a good shot, while others clammored in closer to hear his words of wisdom.  He commented on his beliefs that marijuana can be a very useful medicine for people with glaucoma, multiple sclerosis, and asthma, but he cannot be sure until the government releases its stranglehold of marijuana laws and research prohibitions.