Urine Testing

   It seems that every company has jumped on the urine testing bandwagon.  Most companies ask for a pre-employment drug test as a requirement to be considered for hire.  While some applying for jobs have either stopped using weed for a certain amount of time, others have resorted to drinking certain concoctions and/or taking herbal supplements to "clean" their systems out.  It seems that many are trying to live double lives for the sake of finance and convenience by implementing these methods of "cleanliness."

  When I protested for nearly two years at Penn State, I had two favorite signs.  One said, "My urine, my business" and the other read, "Only urine sample you'll get from me is for a taste test." Those two signs are my living philosophy as well.  First, I wouldn't piss for my boyfriend if he was into that sort of thing so I certainly wouldn't for some exec so he/she could see what I am up to on my own time.  It's my business and my bodily fluid.  The second sign is of course being really sarcastic, but it points out the absurdity of the practice in general.

   I understand that a lot of my fellow Americans and friends have subjected themselves to a degrading policy to gain a respectable and well paying job in this brutal financial world.  Nothing saddens me more than to see a person struggling with the "real" world telling them that something so harmless as marijuana should be treated with such scutiny and defamation.
Then they give into the urine test thinking,"I can still smoke and cover up what I do."  My friends, I have compassion for these circumstances, but I cannot agree with subjecting myself to such a level.  I need weed because I like it and when I get depressed I smoke it.   When cash permits, I eat it.  How can I betray something that has been so integral in making my life more open to possibilities?

   Luckily, I have never been asked to take a urine test.  And because I will stick to my convictions, I will never be asked to take a urine test.  If by some odd twist of fate I am asked to take one, my response will be,"I am sorry, my freedom is not for sale. I do smoke marijuana and I am a responsible adult. I am sorry you will be missing out on a good human resource." Then I will walk out of the door with my dignity intact.

   Any questions?

The Urine Testing Creed

I am good human. I am responsible. I do what I want as long as it does not involve hurting someone. I am worth respect in the workplace so long as I do my job. My "superiors" can order me around when I am working but they have no dominion over me in my own home. Equal opportunity employment means not excluding responsible pot smokers. I am not urinating for anyone unless it is for my own personal medical benefit.

Email me with comments, suggestions: